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Letter to my 8 years old Jewel.

Letter to my 8 years old Jewel.

Dear daughter,

I DON’T WANT YOU TO BE A GOOD GIRL.

You know why?

The other time I came back from outing, I was expecting you to jump at me as usual.

Instead, you chose to embrace me with a gloomy look.

I knew something was wrong even thou you hesitated to open up.

You wanted to open your mouth and you started crying.

After many pats and pets, you finally spilled it with shaky voice.

“Tola didn’t allow you to play with what belongs to you.
She insisted you weren’t going to play with it”

And then you started crying profusely, telling me many other things she did and why you won’t play with her again.

I bursted into cry myself. Yes, I showed my vulnerability to you because I was amazed at how weak you were, defending your territory with someone even younger than you.

Thou you may not deeply understand the effect of your actions to my heart, but this made me feel terrible as if I failed you.

Yes we caused this!

Of course I know that you’ve experienced such before, we always insisted on you reporting rather than serving them yourself, until your reporting even gets irritating even to others.

You become really polite and defenseless.

You’ll rather wait for our return than reacting because you’re a known good girl in the home and outside.

I mean, have I been raising someone others can always bully? I mean, a girl with extreme low self esteem?

Despite the affirmations…

Despite the Matial art…

Despite the ballet…

After crying my eyes, I drew her close and asked her…

Me: How did you feel when it happened?

Jewel: Unhappy

Me: Why did you allow that?

Jewel: If I beat her now, they will say I’m a bad girl.

Me: I understand you don’t want to be called a bad girl because you want everyone to like you?

Jewel: Yes

Me: you know what?

DON’T BE A GOOD GIRL

Good girls are fools!

Good girls accept every shit!

Good girls seek acceptance from everyone and everything around them.

Good girls depend on others sayings to know their worth.

Good girls will bend up, and then down, just to please those around them even at their own detriment.

You don’t have to hit!

You don’t have to abuse.

Even thou you swear not to use your hits on family and friends in your martial art, you can give one or two hit as a warning to a bully after trying other means that failed.

Also know that you’ll always play with Tola, she’s simply to you what you allowed her to be. So mind what you allow from people subsequently.

She’s just an innocent girl destined to show you another side of life, so cherish her… She’s simply a message to you.

Just as I said earlier, it doesn’t have to be through fight nor abuse, there are many ways to pass your message.

Just figure it out and do it differently next time.

Remember, if you don’t fail, you won’t win so never let that bother you much…

It has only trained you to do it another better way.

I’ll also want you to know, that many of these battle will come in life, what matters is how you handle it irrespective of where it comes from or how it comes.

I can’t always be with you to defend you but know that God gave you your powerful heart to decide how to deal with life.

If you don’t like that , you have a choice to do it in another way you like.

Be a girl that values herself!

A girl of worth you are!

Nothing compares to you in my precious heart!

You are better than rubies and pearl.

Stop being a good girl, because a good girl is a fool.

Don’t be a fool.

Don’t do what others expect from you, do what you deem right!

Don’t be likeable by everyone if you don’t want sadness to be your life partner.

Do your best, to remain great and good.
When you’re pushed, don’t just look and oblige because this will only bring more push.

This might come with some labellings like
“Omo buruku”, ” naughty girl”, “wicked girl” etc…

Be prepared and never mind. Unless you’re truly wicked, which means you should check yourself.

Have in mind, that this has happened to others too, even Robert that authors that book you like, Rich Dad Poor Dad. He was big as a child, bigger than his mates, the bully continued until he did it differently, they all stopped the bully act and became his friends.

You know what that means?

You just have to do it differently.

Be a GREAT GOOD girl,
A girl of your mother,
That doesn’t need approval from anyone to be GREAT AND GOOD.

Prophet Muhammad (may the peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: DO NOT OPPRESS OTHERS AND DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE OPPRESSED

Yours sincerely,

Kifayah; your loving mom.

 

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3 Comments

  • Mariam

    July 29, 2017 at 10:27 am

    Awesome….. Thanks for sharing

      Homeschooling Nigeria

      July 29, 2017 at 11:44 am

      You’re welcome queen.
      Thank you for reading.

  • Onyii

    October 20, 2017 at 5:45 am

    Thanks so much for this!

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